I Hate Daylight Savings Changes

Billy Ray is off schedule again. I bet many of you are experiencing that with your kiddos too. Mornings are definitely better if he can wake up on his own but when the time changes if I allow that to happen we are running late. Then he still wants to putter around like when he has a lot more time. He missed his volunteer job this morning. It takes a couple of weeks to get back in get back in gear so we should be getting there in a few more days. One good thing is that I get more time to enjoy my coffee and deal with my email from some of you. I am finally getting caught up on that and my blogs. If I haven't answered yours remind me. It feels like spring FINALLY this morning. Sorry K.C. snow is all gone. Well we are off to the Post Office, a late lunch and a haircut for Mom. Until next time, Peggy Lou Morgan www.peggyloumorgan.com (for a complete list of my sites)

When Your Child Won't Let You Tell Him the Truth

Suffice it to say my mother sometimes had a problem with honesty. I hated it and swore I would never lie to my own children. Billy Ray is experiencing some changes that makes it impossible to keep that commitment to myself. For example, he listens to a walkman ALOT and the batteries run out every few days. He used to bring it to me to change them now for some reason he resistent to that task even when it quits working. However, it doesn't work he is irritated too. Before my divorce Larry would sneak in an change the batteries while I was bathing Billy Ray. Now I am getting creative at sneaking the new batteries. Additionally, he has spcific answers to questions he asks and that is the only thing he will accept even if it is no longer true. In order to move on with the day it is necessary to give him the answer he wants. There are countless examples of that lately. As in other things you just have adapt and communicate. Sorry that I have missed all of you for a while. Larry and I are divorced (I will probably share more of that on my personal blog Peggy Lou Morgan in the future), I am working on new writing project, etc., etc. I wanted to welcome some new readers South Korea, India, Sri Lanka, Nepal, Bangladesh and Pakistan. I am so glad that my books are available to you and that you are finding your way to me and to this blog. Until Next Time, Peggy Lou Morgan www.peggyloumorgan.com (for a complete list of my sites)

Community Advocacy - Even More Vital

We have dealt with the word retarded before here. It is a slang that I think is quite misunderstood and misused.

I don't know whether it is the tough economic times or something else but I seem to be observing more and more attitudes about people who experience disabilities. I don't think I have ever heard the word "retarded" more.

Getting angry, while probably justified, is not working. We try to educate whenever possible. Here is an example of an incident that Billy Ray and I experienced recently.

A mother and two teenagers were within maybe a foot of Billy Ray when she uttered the R word. I do not think she was specificially referring to Billy Ray but he certainly picked up on the word. I took him by the hand and walked up to them. First I asked permission of the mother to talk to her daughter. Then I introduced Billy Ray to her. I asked her if she knew what the word retarded actually meant and she said no. I explained that it only meant slow and that while Billy Ray and I are both slow in certain areas it is probable that his strength in some area exceeded her strength in that area. She was truly embarrassed, apologizing a lot. I told her I didn't want that but I wanted her to stop and think so it stops at her generation not being passed down for future generations. She seemed more likely to remember the situation and alter her behavior than if there had been an angry blow up.

By helping the community to know our kids as they are instead of sterotypes,hopefully, we create deeper understanding and acceptance.

Advocacy must educate to achieve desirable results. It is taken me years to see that instead of blowing up.

Until next time,
Peggy Lou Morgan
http://www.peggyloumorgan.com/
http://www.parentingyourcomplexchild.com/
http://www.lighthouseparents.com/

What We Don't Know - Can it Hurt Our Children

I have been haunted lately by the reality of what we don’t know that might make a real difference in the lives of our children and adult children.

As most of my regular readers know, Billy Ray has chronic pancreatitis, which comes with severe pain and other issues such as pancreatic insufficiency, which has similarities to diabetes. When he was originally diagnosed, I was told that it was caused by Depakote, which he had taken for a number of years for his bipolar. Early last summer he was referred to the chronic pain management clinic at OHSU. There I learned that they see many patients with Down syndrome and pancreatitis.

During research for my first book I spoke to several doctors and medical schools about how much training medical providers are actually given regarding children and adults with special needs. The phrase “touched on lightly” seemed to come up in many conversations as an example of how little actual training in special needs was provided to medical students.

According to the National Association for the Dually Diagnosed (an association for people with both developmental disabilities and mental illness diagnoses), a survey of doctors in the state of Illinois found that, out of 312 respondents (a 24 percent response rate), 95 percent acknowledged that they treat patients with developmental disabilities and 70 percent acknowledged that they had no formal training in the area.

In the foreword to Parenting Your Complex Child, genetic counselor Kate Crowe alluded to the problem as well:

“Medical researchers don't study many complex children. As health care providers, we depend on the published research to inform us so we may provide advice and guidance to families. If a patient is "complex", and doesn't fit the description of a single condition described in the research literature, we are left with little to share. Teaching parents to observe and problem-solve empowers them to fill in the information gaps for themselves.”

In Billy Ray’s case the enlarged pancreas, which may have been the beginning of the pancreatitis was not found easily. He had been sick for a couple of months and nothing definite enough to be causing his rapid deterioration could be found. I have written about that experience here.

As shared in the post linked above, when I took Billy Ray to the emergency room in July 2005 the emergency room doctor wanted to send him home on increased pysch meds. The cause of his severe pain was only dealt with after I advocated strongly (read that blew up) and further testing was done.

The more we know about his medical needs the more we are able to deal with his behavior issues. It has certainly made a difference in his life. I can’t help but wonder with doctors not being given enough information about things that might be common in certain disabilities and parents having no way of knowing, how many behavior problems are being treated with pysch meds (which don't really work anyway) when they are really medical issues.

Until next time,

Peggy Lou Morgan
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Websites:
Peggy Lou Morgan.com
Parenting Your Complex Child
Lighthouse Parents

Blogs:
Parenting A Complex Special Needs Child
Parenting An Adult with Complex Special Needs
Peggy Lou Morgan
Amazon Blog

Other Sites:
Wellsphere
Tangle (formerly GodTube)
Autisable

Technical Glitches

I have been trying to follow the publicist assistant’s advice to combine the blogs for both of my books into one blog. However, I have been having great difficulty figuring out how to get the feeds to various places switched. For example, Wellsphere feeds one blog to their Autism community and the other to the Down syndrome community and they can’t feed the combined blog to both communities. I thought I had it fixed for Amazon Kindle readers but apparently not.
For now I am going to post on the two blogs and post both of them on the combined blog as well. Hopefully, I will get things switched at some point be down to one blog.

Thanks for your patience with me.

Peggy Lou

Changing Blogs

Hi Everyone:


I have sort of built myself into a box with having multiple blogs particularly for my two books. Somethings seem appropriate to share with parents of younger children and parents of older children as well. I have decided to come both Parenting A Complex Special Needs Child and Parenting an Adult with Complex Special Needs into a blog just by my name and not dedicated to just one book that link is Peggy Lou Morgan .

Additionally, some of you have been following my blogs on Amazon because they were all being fed there. I wanted to let you know that Amazon is changing their Amazon Author Connect Blogs and they will no longer be in the separate blog and on the detail pages for both my books. They will have Author Central which is presently under construction and hard to find. You can still get my blogs on Amazon at this link. Amazon picks up most pictures but does not pick up any video I put on the blog. If you can't get referenced video just click at the bottom of the post of the link to the blog it was fed from and you will get to the original post with video and pictures.

Until next time,
Peggy Lou Morgan

Blogs: Peggy Lou Morgan and Lighthouse Parents
Websites: Parenting Your Complex Child , Lighthouse Parents and Peggy Lou Morgan
Amazon Author Central
Follow me on Twitter
Follow me on Facebook
Wellsphere
Tangle (formerly GodTube)

Building Relationships that Bring Joy and Protection for Your Child

I have been posting stories of abuse and literal torture on my other blog here and here. While this post goes along with the idea of protecting children and adults from that kind of abuse I decided to put it on this blog where more parents of young children would see it.

I believe the best protection for children and adults from abuse is to have relationships with people who will stay involved and aware of what is going on in the life of your adult child. As stated in those posts some have said they do not have time to establish those relationships. It does take time but adds immeasurable value.

Billy Ray’s best friends, Donna and Max, are an important part of his life. I know that if something happened to me they would be calling him, visiting him, and checking on him just as they do now. The relationship he has with them is not just for his benefit. I know that he touches their lives too. In fact while they are on vacations, etc. they send him cards that say how much better their lives are because he is in it and gifts that have so much thought in them that I know he is always on their minds.

Donna makes the high fiber cookies that Billy Ray needs for regularity. They are the same recipe that I make (off the oatmeal box) but he will eat them better if Donna makes them.

These pictures of Billy Ray blowing out the candles on their birthday cakes show the affection they have for him.

They are always on his mind too. He has a picture of Donna and himself on the refrigerator. He looks at it several times a day and talks about her each time (see picture below).

Recently I was having a conversation with another friend about Billy Ray’s relationship with Donna and Max. She commented that Donna and Max see Billy Ray as a person not just a “special kid” as others might. This is the kind of relationship you want for your child.

Thinking back over the developing friendship there seems to be some key aspects that have made it work:

Donna and Max do care about Billy Ray. They are also willing to deal with a bit of discomfort at times. (For example, when they were here for dinner once and I started his bath before they left. He started removing his shower wrap in front of Donna which was something she wasn’t prepared for.)

It seemed important for Billy Ray to be understood for who he is so as I do things with him and for him in their presence I would explain why he needs things a certain way.

As they began to know him better, Donna felt comfortable asking questions that helped her to understand him even better.

This relationship impacts Billy Ray and provides a sort of protection; however, it also contributes a lot to community acceptance. People are always telling me that Donna talks about Billy Ray constantly. Billy Ray, as seen through his friend’s eyes, is even more accepted as a person. Others are willing to take the time to get to know him because of the stories she tells of fun things he has said or done.

While there is not time to form a lot of relationships for your child is good to have more than one. Donna and Max are closer to my age than to Billy Ray’s age. I know that they will always be there for him if they can but someone closer to his age would be a great back up.

Until next time,
Peggy Lou Morgan

Blogs: Parenting A Complex Special Needs Adult and Lighthouse Parents

Amazon Author Blog

Websites:
Parenting Your Complex Child, Lighthouse Parents and Peggy Lou Morgan.com

Follow me on Twitter
My Wellsphere Page
Lighthouse Parents on Tangle

Parenting Your Complex Child Yahoo Group

Billy Ray Meets Tonka (future service dog)

We stopped on to meet Tonka on the way to a Mother's Day weekend trip. I couldn't wait to share some pictures with all of you.

The sun was bright and it made it hard for Larry to see the pictures he was shooting. He shot over 50 shots. There were smiles and expressions that he couldn't catch with even that many tries. Billy Ray was elated.

More to come when Tonka gets old enough to come home to Billy Ray.

Until next time,

Peggy Lou Morgan

http://www.peggyloumorgan.com/ for a complete list of my websites and blogs

Big Shoes (Paws) to Fill - New Service Dog

It is not clear to me what the various feeds pick up. I know that my Amazon blog is not picking up the video but I'm not sure about these pictures. If you can't see the pictures just click on the link to the blog it's from and it will take you to where you can see the pictures.

This is Tonka (yellow lab, named because he is the biggest and most fun of the litter), who is 9 weeks old. He is going to become Billy Ray's service dog when he is about six months old. We are going to visit him this weekend.

This time we are going to do things a little different because of Billy Ray's health and my schedule. The breeder (whose name and contact information I will reveal when she is ready for that) is going to do more of the basic training before I start working with Billy Ray and Tonka at about six months old. As I have been taking notes and talking to the breeder about what is important in terms of training, I have been thinking about what Billy Ray (and all of us) has gained from his dogs and what we have learned.

Dogs have been important to Billy Ray. His first experience with a dog was in foster care before we adopted him at 15 months old. He was a little much for my older poodle on placement so the veterinarian selected five month old Katie for him.

Together Katie and Billy Ray, then about 4 years old, went through basic dog obedience training and he learned how to handle her pretty well. He had her from the time she was 5 months old until about 14 years old. She was a pet not a service dog but she made a real difference in his life.

As Katie was aging, I began to look at a replacement. I looked into the idea of a service dog but couldn't find appropriate trainers. Somehow I found Dana PawsAbilities in northern Washington state. Her organization is primarily obedience training not a service dog trainer but she took time on the phone to give me tips for making it work. I remember the first thing she advised me to figure out was what jobs the dog would be expected to do for Billy Ray. I don't know why Dana didn't get impatient with me given it wouldn't benefit her business but she was always helpful.

Thanks to Dana's help and Carolyn Jones, 4-H leader and friend, who found us what was to become the perfect service dog for Billy Ray, we had several good years with Sheba. We took Sheba almost everywhere with Billy Ray. His support staff took her with him to his school program and other activities. The picture below is my favorite - he is shredding papers at Silver Falls School District Office and she is right there comforting him.

Unfortunately, Sheba, while perfect for Billy Ray had one flaw, she loved to chase cars along our fence when they drove onto the neighbors property. She injured her leg. We treated it for a long time and it was felt that surgery wouldn't help. Eventually she couldn't work with Billy Ray but remained a pet until there was nothing else that could be done to keep her comfortable and we put her down.

Enter Penny Lane who was in foster care with Heartland Weim Rescue and we heard about her through our friends Cliff and Shela Nielsen . Through a chain of events and the fact we had a friend's son coming home from college in Olathe, KS and could transport her Penny Lane came to be Billy Ray's next service dog. She was the dog no one wanted and was at risk of being put down because she had problems with her ears and was partially deaf. I had provided similar care to Katie when she had problems with her ears so was not frightened away from Penny Lane. However, what I didn't realize was that Katie was well trained before her ears became and issue and we needed to provide more extensive training to Penny Lane because she was a service dog whereas Katie had been a pet. Training for Penny Lane has not been very successful and she has become much more of a pet than a service dog.

However, Penny Lane has contributed to Billy Ray and to me in ways I could have never trained her to do. We got her about a year before Billy Ray had the health crisis and ventilator episode shared previously. When he began go through breathing changes which have never been thoroughly diagnosed but he appears to literally stop breathing and Penny Lane somehow senses it and comes to get me. I can sleep because I trust her to monitor it. I wrote about it here .

Below is a picture that shows the relationship between the two. He doesn't really want her to sleep on the bed because she lays on the covers and he can turn over as well. However, this one morning he was dressed and went back to bed and crawled up beside him on his other pillow. He covered her up and fortunately this was one of those Kodak momemts I didn't miss.

As a rescue dog her exact age was a guess. It was suggested that she might be 2 years old but our vets have suggested she was probably 4-5 years old when we got her nearly 5 years ago. She has had multiple health issues the entire time but she has been manageable. Her weight has been a constant struggle and it was just believed that Billy Ray gave her too many bites (which he does) but it was finally discovered that she has a thyroid problem and we have been treating that. However, recent tests performed show that she has liver issues as well. She is being treated for both and is on a special diet for the liver issues. Her vet advised that we would probably be able to maintain her another year but two years was stretching it.

Thus, it seemed time to consider a new service dog. There are now service dog agencies that we could work with but because it is used a specific way for Billy Ray and I want to work with it myself, we are going through a breeder we know. I hope to share on pictures and video blogging when we get started training.

Until next time,

Peggy Lou Morgan

for a complete list of my blogs and sites see www.peggyloumorgan.com

Our Latest News 4/6/09

Hi Everyone:


There is a lot going on right now and I have wanted to touch bases with you for a while.

First, Billy Ray is somewhat the same as when I last posted. He still fights chronic pancreatitis but we are learning to anticipate pain and catch it as early as possible so he doesn't need the stronger medications for pain. The surgery (Nissan) done in September 2006 which sort of fixed his high degree of acid reflex was checked last week and still in place but he is getting reflux again and it is the cause of periodic choking episodes.

He has good news and bad on the service dog front. The present service dog is experiencing health problems of her own and will have to be replaced within the next year. I have ordered a Yellow Lab puppy which he will get at the end of summer and we will start training her to work with him.


Parenting an Adult with Disabilities or Special Needs seems to be getting pretty good reviews already. I am truly pleased by them. Here are two: Autism Learning Felt and Specialchildrenabout.com .

Thanks to Amazon, I am able to combine the feeds for my blogs in one. If you'd like to read all the recent posts for this blog and Parenting a Complex Adult you can go to the Amazon blog and get them in one location.

Until next time,
Peggy Lou Morgan
www.peggyloumorgan.com for a complete list of sites

Communication by Behavior (Reading the Signs) Revisited

This post is revisiting a topic I have covered several times in different ways since the beginning of this blog in 2005. It seems important to touch on it again because several parents have emailed about their frustration relative to their child’s behavior. A common line is “we are held captive to his behavior” or “it is impossible to plan anything because we never know she will respond”. Many want to know what medications Billy Ray takes or what medications will treat behavior problems with their child.

I am not anti medication but we use the very minimum necessary. I have found over the past 24 years of being Billy Ray’s Mom (he was adopted at 15 months old) that medication is a last resort for behavior issues. What works for us is reading the signs relative to his behavior. Two posts on this topic are Change is Coming – Reading Your Child’s Behavior and Reading Signs in my Complex Son. There are many others under the label Communication by Behavior.

When you allow your child to show you what he needs to feel safe and comfortable and adapt his environment, schedule, etc., etc. as close as possible to his comfort level life becomes much more comfortable for him and for the whole family.

Some have written that it is not fair for one member of the family to have things his way. I do understand that feeling. For me, it came to a point that I learned what Billy Ray can and cannot incorporate or understands. His logics are not mine. If he is confused by an aspect of the routine or environment we can get stuck and ruin a day or even longer periods of time. By doing things the way that he can understand or accept, it changes the flow of whatever we are doing. If that means we have to do things differently than another member of the family wishes but we will not get stuck it might well be worth it, depending on the situation.

Others have written that they don’t have time for the documentation, etc. suggested in Parenting Your Complex Child. My response is that being stuck with meltdowns or behavior issues takes more time than we realize. When we learn to read the signs, adapt to the child’s needs and communicate the child as he or she is to the professionals involved, it changes family life as well as the child’s. It takes time and initially a lot more energy than we might think we can muster but in the end it saves time, energy and frustration. It is really a choice of how you will spend your energy and that of your child and how much frustration you can cope with.

As aside, I am not keeping the blogs up the way I want, slower to answer email and moderate comments because I am getting more email and comments these days. I have decided that is partly my fault because many of the things I would respond is already on the blogs but hard to find because it has been archived by date. I changed the blog template today and am in the process of labeling every old post by categories. If you have any suggestions or comments please let me know.

Until next time,

Peggy Lou Morgan
For a list of my blogs and websites see www.peggyloumorgan.com

Great Article re Siblings of Children with Special Needs

The New York Times Well blogs had a piece on a report done by National Public Radio on Marissa Skillings, a 15 year old whose 11 year old brother, Andrew, has Asperger’s syndrome.

It is great to see stories like this one that bring out the struggle Marissa (and many others) experience as siblings yet clearly show that she loves her brother as he is. It is not easy to live with his noise and meltdowns but as she says if he was different he wouldn’t be the Andrew she knows and loves.

Since so many people with disabilities were housed in big institutions for decades society really doesn’t have much understanding about what life is like for the person or her family. As we share with the media or just friends what we experience, including the joy, it so enhances awareness and acceptance by the community.

Until next time,
Peggy Lou Morgan
Author of Parenting Your Complex Child (AMACOM Books 2006) and
Parenting an Adult with Disabilities or Special Needs (AMACOM Books January 2009)www.peggyloumorgan.com (for a complete list of websites and blogs)

Interview with Billy Ray on AM NW

I was looking through some things this morning and found the video of an interview I did on KATU's AMNW program in September 2007. This interview is the only one that Billy Ray has participated with me and I thought you might like to see it. We couldn't get it to upload on the blog but put it on youtube here if you want to watch it.

As some of you experience with your children, sometimes you just never know how he feels about things. KATU is the station we used to watch when we lived in the Portland area so he was familiar with most of the news anchors. One of the hosts for AM NW used to be the anchor of the early morning news and he called her "Red" because of her red hair. He was so spellbound that he didn't say a word in the interview and wouldn't talk to anyone else the whole time we were waiting.

He called my first book that "damn book" I guess because when I was working on it I couldn't do everything he wanted me to do. One day we were in the bank drive up window and he wanted to know where we were going I told him what he was going to do with Dad and that I was going to go work on my new book. He said "tv" so I asked if he wanted to be on tv again. His response was "tv- go puter, work" and he repeated it daily until the new book was finished. Apparently he liked it.

Until next time,

Peggy Lou Morgan

http://www.peggyloumorgan.com/

Wellsphere - a Valuable Resource on the Net

I am so pleased to invited to participate in the Wellsphere internet community. There is so much for everyone on this site. I urge you to take the time to review the various communities and resources available there. Resources include blogs on many different topics as well as communities on more topics than imaginable.

This blog will now be carried on the Autism Spectrum community. There also communities for Down syndrome, Adhd, bipolar and many more.

Many types of experts are available for you to inquire from depending on your particular interest. You can set goals for you or for your child and they will send you tips and encouraging reminders if you wish.

Wellsphere has a new Health Maven program where you can ask questions re your various interests for you or your child. They describe Health Mavens as: “Health Maven is the term we use to describe the carefully-selected, knowledgeable, health and healthy living experts who volunteer their time to help support community members by answering their health questions and concerns. Health Mavens include doctors, nurses, psychologists, personal trainers and nutritionists, as well as patient experts and opinion leaders. Health Mavens are wonderful, caring people who are committed to helping others live healthier, happier lives.” I was very pleased to be asked to be a Health Maven for the Autism – Autism Spectrum Community. You can read more about this program here .

I'm so humbled by Wellsphere's award to me of the Top Health Blogger Badge (displayed on the sidebar).

Take a look at their site for yourself - there is truly something for everyone there.

Until next time,
Peggy Lou Morgan
For a complete list of my sites go to peggyloumorgan.com

We're Still Here - 12/1/08

Hi All:

I feel a bit out of touch with a lot of you. It has been hetic. For those of you who have written I'm recovering pretty well and back in the groove more and more. We are learning to deal with Billy Ray's chronic pancreatitis and doing better at managing his pain so that he is able to enjoy life so more.

Hard to imagine that Parenting An Adult with Disabilities or Special Needs: Everything You Need to Know to Plan for and Protect Your Child’s Future (AMACOM Books) is finally coming out in January. It seemed as if it was never going to happen and now it is next month. I am even more excited because several of the ideas are even more important than I knew when writing it because of all the budget cuts and economic things going on everywhere.

I have wanted to start video blog conversations with you for a long time. In the process of figuring out how it would work we had a computer crash and had to replace a computer and now Larry is trying to figure out how to get the video editing software to work on Vista - the new computer. I'm bugging him because I am anxious to talk to you.

While the new book has much to do with adults and transition planning there are many things that you can start soon. For example, I wished I had started the form of Chronological History that I talked about in Parenting Your Complex Child (AMACOM Books 2006) much younger. The same applies to many of the skills I am teaching Billy Ray now to have his own home (as soon as we can get him more medically stable). I hope to video blog him learning new things when we get the video working.

Finally, I have gotten opportunities to communicate with lots more people through other communities on the internet which is thrilling. I am going to do posts introducing those to you within the next couple of days.

Until next time,
Peggy Lou Morgan
for a complete list of blogs and websites check out my primary website

Who Needs Training Children or Adults with Special Needs or the Community

Most parents who have children with special needs understand all too well what happens when there is confusion over “what we doing” or “where are we going”. Many of us spend hours preparing schedules or visuals to help prepare our kids for understanding what is expected. Changes can create such confusion for our child that he or can have a meltdown, sometimes in a public place, or in refusal to go or to do what is necessary. Some parents have said it feels like being held captive to our child’s reaction.

It seems there is a misunderstanding between everyone involved at times. A child may seem to be unreasonable about his need for consistency. To the outside world a minor change in schedule is a part of life. Flexibility to go with the flow of life is a good trait to survive in this hurried up world but it is not something that is natural to many of our children. A pediatric neurologist once explained to me that when you change the routine of a small child they will get hyper but if you change Billy Ray’s routine it is like taking him to a foreign country where he doesn’t understand the language. The confusion is overwhelming to him so he might flop on the floor unsure what to do next. He can literally get stuck.

Inconsistency from all parties involved impacts the situation greatly. If parents don’t adapt the plan to what will work for our child as an individual and prepare them for an event or task, it is less likely to work. I have been more aware of the fact that Billy Ray lives in a world of people who are less regimented than he needs to be and have their own lives full of demands and details. If he is waiting 30 minutes because someone is late they may have little concept of how confusing that is to him.

I wrote about the temperamental mismatch that Billy Ray and I experienced relative to organization here. Having worked through that with him substantially it has become obvious that he has somewhat of a mismatch with other significant people in his life and the community as a whole.

Maybe it is just me but it seems that the lack of understanding and actual intolerance is growing rather than the community awareness we advocate for. We have a Catholic Church getting a restraining order to keep a 13 year old boy with Autism away from their services. I have written about that on my other blog here. If even churches fail to adapt to the needs of members who have special needs how can we expect family, friends and the community to.

To compound it we have radio talk show host, Michael Savage describing Autism as "A fraud, a racket. ... In 99 percent of the cases, it's a brat who hasn't been told to cut the act out". See here for more details on his comments.

Thus, the question of the post title who needs the training, the child or adult who experiences special needs or those who don’t experience special needs. The sad thing to me is that it is sometimes easier to adapt and teach people with special needs than to teach tolerance and acceptance to some who don’t have that experience.

Until next time,

Peggy Lou Morgan
www.peggyloumorgan.com
www.lighthouseparents.com
www.parentingyourcomplexchild.com

and blogs at:
http://parentingacomplexchild.blogspot.com
http://parentingacomplexadult.blogspot.com

Fireworks and Autism

Hi Everyone:

Happy 4th.

I was thinking that probably many of us have loved fireworks and had to forego the tradition if our child experiences Autism.

As a child, it was great fun to go to my Grandma's in Weiser, ID because we could sit outside in her yard and watch the fireworks. It was a family tradition both for me and for Billy Ray's Dad. However, after we adopted Billy Ray we found he couldn't tolerate them at all. We thought it scared him. Since he didn't get the Autism label until later in his childhood than most we didn't understand that the noise is intolerable for many who experience Autism.

One year Billy Ray and I went to spend the day with my secretary and her family who were camping on the Oregon coast. They begged us to stay and see the fireworks from a ship on the ocean. I said that Billy Ray couldn't handle it. They told me that the noise was muffled by the water so I decided to try. We loved it. If you ever get a chance to try it for your child who can't handle the noise, it's worth the effort.

Until Next Time,
Peggy Lou Morgan
www.peggyloumorgan.com

Comments - So Embarrassing

I just came on Blogger to write a post on fireworks and found I had 14 unapproved comments. I don't know why I haven't received notices on on them and some of them are really old. I am so sorry about that. I have been recovering from my little episode on New Year's Eve (see past posts) and finishing my book so I have gotten behind on blogging but normally Blogger sends me a notice when I have comments to approve.

When I was checking them off I came as approved and came to one I wanted to reject and when I clicked to reject just one it apparently rejected the ones checked. They have changed the system on me. If I rejected your comment accidentially I am sooooo sorry please comment again and I will watch Blogger better.

Until next time,
Peggy Lou Morgan
www.peggyloumorgan.com

World Autism Day

This morning I turned CNN on and discovered a program in process titled We Have Autism. We do have a tivo but I was not able to rewind to the beginning. Additionally, our satelite feed for CNN was not working well so I missed a lot with the fuzz. However, I loved what I saw and it struck me that it was very positive in terms of showing treatment and hope. There were none of the desperate feelings expressed in video such as Autism Speaks. This presentation gave real hope for meaningful lives for children and adults who experiene Autism.

A comment made by one of the mothers that once you become the parent of a child who experiences Autism you become a parent of all children who experience Autism really struck a chord with me. That has been my experience to a substantial degree. Once I became Billy Ray's Mom I found a deep concern for the acceptance and oppportunities for all children who experience special needs. We become one in so many ways.

I am thrilled that we have a World Autism Day. I hope that somehow we can spread that not just to Autism but to all who experience disabilities.

I am sorry I have been so delinquent in writing. I am physically improving from my New Year's Eve episode and getting stronger. My blood pressure is responding to medications. I am getting anxious to get out there speaking and meeting all of you again.

I will do an update on Billy Ray in the next day or so. Also on my writing and my new book.

Until next time,
Peggy Lou Morgan
Blogs: Amazon Author Connect, Parenting a Complex Special Needs Adult and Lighthouse Parents
Websites: Parenting Your Complex Child, Lighthouse Parents and Peggy Lou Morgan.com
Parenting Your Complex Child Yahoo Group

Update 1/07/08

Some of you have written wondering what is going on with us.

Billy Ray is doing pretty well and I have been trying to finish my new book on transition planning. However, that all changed on New Year's Eve when I started having breathing problems.

After a terrifying ambulance ride I spent the rest of New Year's Eve and most of New Year's Day in the hospital. The doctors think I had a small heart attack and may have some blockage. I have a stress test scheduled for today at noon and another test for tomorrow. If they find blockage I will have to have surgery.

In the meantime, if you want to keep track of how we are doing you can go to Lighthouse Parents Blog . I will try to keep that one up. If I do end up having surgery my pastor is going to put notes on that blog to keep people up to date.

Until next time,
Peggy Lou Morgan
For a complete list of my sites go to www.peggyloumorgan.com