Wednesday, March 8, 2006

Communication by Behavior - Messages

When my husband was telling my mother-in-law about getting the advanced copies of Parenting Your Complex Child , signing and mailing to special folks she teased that the hat she made for me is stretchy but if it won’t stretch enough she’d make another one. No need of that Billy Ray will keep me humble.

I shared how Billy Ray had not had aggression for 10 days. The medical and dental issues seemed to be stabilizing so we could do our thing to get things working best for him now. Yesterday morning he clearly communicated by difficult behavior that it isn’t there yet. In the morning he was aggressive and by evening he clearly didn’t feel well.

Sometimes it feels as though we will never “be there” but we are so much better at reading the signs than we used to be. Now we can look at his “communications” and come to solutions quicker. We were able to ascertain that he wasn’t feeling well and give him something for pain. He slept well and is back to being the usual Billy Ray (noisy and bouncing) this morning planning to deliver Meals on Wheels.

I discovered the website David Pitonyak, PhD yesterday. Dr. Pitonyak writes: “My practice is based upon a simple idea: difficult behaviors result from unmet needs. In a sense, difficult behaviors are messages which can tell us important things about a person and the quality of his or her life.”

Dr. Pitonyak goes on to discuss the need to support the support systems (families and support staff). It is very interesting reading. I felt like I had found a kindred spirit reading it. His “messages” are pretty much what I refer to as communication by behavior.

Until next time,
Peggy Lou Morgan
Parenting Your Complex Child Yahoo Group

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