When I wrote My Outrage, Mother Gets Suspended Sentence, it was possible to see a bit of the mother’s frustration while not condoning her actions. Mrs. Markcrow had taken Patrick, her 36 year old son to the emergency room and tried to get help for his self abuse. The emergency room doctor testified that he had never seen anything like that behavior. Nevertheless, the hospital sent Patrick home for his mother to deal with. Of course, she was wrong to suffocate Patrick and I am outraged still whenever I think about the suspended sentence.
That story and the story of Katie McCarron pictured herein is a different story with the same tragic end. As Christina Chew’s post states in its’ title Katie McCarron was Beautiful, Precious and Happy Katherine McCarron.
It is time that we look at killing children and adult children with disabilities as what it is, murder not hopelessness. Parenting a child who experiences any form of special needs means a life change. We will become someone we never knew that we would be, for the good or the bad.
There is no way we will remain unchanged by parenting a disabled child. We may change into angry and frustrated people fighting the plight of our child and the whole family. That may be a natural place to start. Anger is a part of grief. Staying stuck in that is harmful for the child and parent(s).
Acceptance can be a powerful step. It is not a slam dunk. However, recognizing that there are some things that can be changed and some that must be accepted is absolutely necessary to move on into a more peaceful way of life. Acceptance brings with it a joy in every milestone and in the little things.
The choices we make about the care of our children and acceptance of the impact a disability brings to our lives will make a major difference on whether or not we murder our child. Murder is murder usually for some purpose be it greed, selfishness or thrill seekers. Parents murdering their children is not mercy killing especially in cases like Katie McCarron who was so beautiful and happy.
Have I made foolish mistakes trying to make life better for Billy Ray and me? Absolutely! However, I have want to state straight out the thought of killing him has never ever crossed my mind.
I want to share through some embarrassment that as a teen I experienced a lot of suicidal depression. I have considered it once since becoming Billy Ray’s mother(having nothing to do with him) but it was short-lived because of Billy Ray. He is unequivocally the cure of my suicidal thoughts not the cause of them. He is my symphony with the low and the high notes. It has been a different life than I might have dreamed of but I am so glad we have shared it together.
Until next time,
Peggy Lou Morgan
Lighthouse Parents Blog