Thursday, February 23, 2006

Life Issues Beyond Our Complex Child

Thanks for the email from my fellow bloggers and blog readers that worried because I didn’t do a blog yesterday that something is wrong with Billy Ray. It was just one of those busy days yesterday.

Yesterday we met with the psychiatrist for medication review.  Then I went to meet with the local Arc Chapter President who also runs a residential program about 27 miles from us.  I walked out of there with the sense of meeting a kindred spirit, which is always wonderful.  We then made a Costco trip for all the special things we have to replenish for Billy Ray constantly.

We can get so hung up on the care and needs of our complex child that we sometimes forget life goes on for our extended family and friends too.  We got three different pieces of bad news from both sides of our family.

It is difficult to support others while trying to survive our day-to-day experiences but it must be done.  Despite our efforts to keep everything running smoothly for Billy Ray there are times we must expect him to co-operate with the need for us to be there for others we care about.

We had just sat down for dinner, which was late because of our day yesterday, when a call came in from one of my stepsons about his wife’s new cancer diagnosis.  I anticipated that Billy Ray might get upset.  My first thought was to say I would call back.  Then the thought crossed my mind that Mark is just as important as Billy Ray.  If he got upset, we would deal with that.  Billy Ray was amazingly calm as I talked to his brother.

Since he is often preoccupied with his own needs we expect Billy Ray to be insensitive.  He is not.  Obviously, we do not give him details he can’t understand.  However, he was quite accepting of our reminder that Larry is Mark’s Daddy too and sometimes Mark needs his Daddy and stepmother.

Until tomorrow,
Peggy Lou Morgan

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